nel

lousy week.

but. there were some nice parts. yea.

i dunno y. but. think i lub my family loads.

and lub my frens loads.

and lastly.

cookie loads. loads.

i think vera’s a damn joker.

i lub her. i meant. her presence. lolx.

and. i feel attached to my breakfast kakis. and. studying buds. lolx

like gg to sch. eating our wonderful planned breakfast. (p.s. breakfast was nv that enjoyable!.. i mean.. everyday… my breakfast is like.. munchful of bread in mouth while on my bed.. trying to have tht 10 mins more of slp..while i eat)

and that gg to school on days not for lessons but to study w my studying buds feels good. and most imptly. the thing is. it’s EFFECTIVE. cos all are of gd influence… NOT much, distraction.

There was this chinese compo mdm chee printed for us to refer and learn… i read it. cos the title was about happiness in life. i mean.. actually, i don’t really know how to assess if i am… so i read on to see if i was.

.. the title is.. sheng huo zhong de mei.. means. the beauty of life.. woah

it was like.. the obstacles we have in life seems to overpower the presence of happiness we have.

so the writer wrote 2 examples of the happiness in life..

first: your mother. who’s always looking darn tired while trying to make a pleasant breakfast for yoo. sometimes, if u even bother.. or noticed, u ask "are u tired?".. she would probably reply that’s she’s olready used to it.

do u realise..she is so USED TO being tired that she’s kinda immune to it?

Being showered w love from ya mama.

it’s a kind of happiness.

Example no. 2:when u have done badly. or not to what u have expected yourself to. u cry. then. your frens come along and pat your back..or if not. encourage u.

what a touching sight!- the writer wrote.

erm. then. can i say that i am the most happiness women on earth? coz. my mom wakes up abt 4.30 in the morning to see tht my sis. me and dad have all we need. and sometimes if we are grumpy. she. my mama gets it. i must say she would tolerate all our temper man. serious. sometimes i just find myself being too grumpy and irritating simultaneously.

and. oh. i must be oso very happy in life..to do extremely bad for prelims to allow my frens to.. ‘come along and pat your back..or if not. encourage u.’

lolx.

i guess i have other probs others don’t.

and lolx. von’s making me envious. she was brand new. and branded.

lolx. new bagSSSS. new pencil box. new ipod.(it was green, was it?..lolx)new bottle. all branded.

to von: i don’t mind looking like an aunty @ pop w all these stuff. i mean.. wad an aunty! lols

k. gotta ans trix question now……………..Reasons of the implementation of the Cultural Revolution.

oh yah. lastly. my MOLE sucks.

oh yah. yah. these songs.. omg.. appearing again and again..

Gone away, it’s the blue bird.
Here to stay, it’s the snow bird…
We’ll sing a love song as we go along
walking in the winter wonderland

Children laughing
People passing
Meeting smile after smile
And on every street corner you

Strings of street lights
Even stop lights
Blink a bright red and green
As the shoppers rush home with their treasures

Hear the snow crunch
See the kids bunch
This is Santa’s big scene
And above all this bustle you hear

you’re intelligent cause i’m stupid.

you’re tall cause i’m short.

you’re pretty cause i’m ugly.

then, wouldn’t you agree with me that

you’re happy cause i’m sad

and that

i’m sad cause you’re happy?

I tear very time pple happily talk about prelims or the TJ open house. so fuck off and don’t ask me anything. even if i giggle or attempted to chuckle off. it probably means i’m bleeding inside.

Yes. TJ open house. Was probably flooded w all my frens. how i god damn bloody wish to go.

dreams are meant for hopeless pple.

and usually they don’t come true.

Life is a lonely road. No matter if you have family or frens support. It’s seriously a road, no one can help u walk and take except yourself.

Called mom after school. told her abt the 21 points and apologised.

the first thing asked was. ‘how did your frens do?’ ‘where will your frens go?’….."Tj.. Mj…vj.." i said.

i tried to end the call and headed home.

(at home) woke up from nap cos mom came home. lazed on my bed and did not walk out of my room. cos mom’s at home.

the moment i told myself to get my ass off my bed. mom asked. no. she didn’t for a moment. she sighed subconciously first. and said.. which sub can u ask the school to give u one more mark.. 21 is so close to 20.

i kept quiet cos it was totally impossible.

"i mean.. it’s always better to go into a JC" she added.

For a moment. i thought i was cheated of the assurance my family gave me that not getting into a JC was already an accepted case.

for a moment. i thought that i should hvae slept a while longer.

No. i guess i was just being foolish. Mom’s always mom. Comparision of your daughter’s marks with others is such a mother’s thing. She was just being nice to not show her anger and disappointment straight at my face.

thanks to all my frens who. yea.

esp maine. rushed all the way from here to there and there to here. and accompanied me. thanks. your presence was appreciated.

thanks to my family for not scolding me or wad so eva. disappointment was felt and i’ll try to do my best. but i really hope. even if my best is a 21. don’t blame me.

SASHA: EVEN IF U READ THIS> JUST READ K? DON"T TELL ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

admist all the examinations and the intensive mugging that is seriously wasting my..i meant our youth, can u please stop for this moment and carry on w this.

do you know, it’s only about 2 more days that, we officially leave TK?

Studied in school on mon. not sure where is the source. but the den had too much of a leak of sleeping gas so i decided to go to the swing to memorise zao jus.

i walked past the void deck, saw the field and sat with the netball court in my view.

then, sences of familar 1e1 kids at the void deck having their tennis TIP came into my mind after every chunk of chinese words entered my memory bank. It was followed by a shuttle run test that was at the tennis court. i then saw myself w my grid squares awaiting for prefects to trial my bomb game i was facilitating for Fusion of Vision. omg. Valencia was there too. she was waiting w me in the void deck for some sec 1s in my very first, sec 1 orientation. We were from PR-the game committe. DNT

you know it’s

i expected at least b3. the very very least. and i had a darn c5.

told myself i would not cry. i mean. careless mistakes are just so common for me every darn exams. but the more i told myself. the more i am reminded of the 37 marks. which is a 23%.

23%.

it meant at least a high b3 or even an a.

the amt of work. tuitions. hope. stressed. coffee. = useless

i’m afraid of breaking down in tuition class if mr ng’s gonna ask. Didn’t want to go for tuition. But it’s stupid. so don’t even think about it.

cried and felt much better.

i know i will never get into any jc for the first three months. any. But i don’t care. i know i’m gg to fail e maths and i don’t care.

i just know i must and want to do well for a maths.

But. i didn’t.

i guess i’m just a lil better and the disappointment is still there.

When can i ever even blog that i have done well?

i don’t know. but. i felt sad when maine cried too. i teared when she cried. jia you girl! never give up cos i m NEVER GOING TO!

SO WHAT? IF I GET A 5?! I’M GONNA WORK SO DARN BLOODY HELL HARD FOR THE OS! AND 5 IS A GOOD NUMBER FOR ME TO IMPROVE EASILY. SO IF U THINK I’VE FALLEN. NOPE. U ARE WRONG.

was talking to myself. =) GO CUI FANG!

was still talking to myself