nel

If yesterday was judgment day …

I probably be sent to hell by those who weren’t able to understand why i …

I somewhat feel guilty. somewhat not.

I saw the influence of people on me. I had this idea of .. but never knew i would actually .. I’m surprised I did. to those people who are impt enough to influence me.. your beeg names are sasha, mummy. von and maine. =)

Through this, I got to see… who are my friends, who arent. Another life lesson learnt on friendship. I’m thankful of this though.   

Thanks for those who said i should feel bad. and thanks to those who assured me that i did a right decision. I’m least thankful for those who … hahas did nothing but … 

As far as i’m concern. I don’t give a damn about others. hahas. grace.. my "isolation policy" at work.

Clara was talking about fakers. and i must admit that. i cant stand them too. god. who can? The sad case is that. I find more fakers than trueful people. Why can’t the world just be a simple round ball with people learning the art of treating everyone with a simple heart… My discovery of the predominant numbers of fakers made me wary of people whom i call friends. Or rather, faker friends. hahas. It’s a reason of my isolation policy. I changed as a result. Less extrovert. More introvert.

"studying everyday now?"

"No. That’s madness."

"Hahas. YA!"

"Ya! it’s only that, on days i don’t study, i have tuitions!"

" -_- "

If there’s this, most cutest award … i’ll have to give it to cookie. He’s darn cute. 

   I was squeezing my eyes tight shut and rattling on and on. "Oh no! Shit!" Confusion ran amok in my head as the scary consequences raced through my mind like wild horses. Waves of fear overtook me and i felt my limbs go numb.
  Jane sentenced me guilty even before say a word.
  "You’re in trouble! I’ll tell mom you broke the lamp!" my younger sister triumphed off satisfyingly.
  I knew was in hot soup this time round.

told mom and dad.

"I’m in the worst stage of my life!"

Getting fatter as the days pass.
More pimple as the stress accumulates.
Heavier eye bags as a result of insufficent rest.
Irritatable and flammable. So. don’t provoke. if not will bite. Sometimes, when i’m silently studying and happened to be ,suprisingly, irritated by obviously an irritating person, i just swear about the person inside. one day, i prolly just flare up. like all my frens. Don’t understand wny do i just tolerate so much crap for what?

and my hair is like. longer and longer.
Finally realise why i’m having long hair!
Cause, I’m too lazy to go for haircut!

I’ll give up on myself if results aint good.
So..

Save me
From this place
Heaven knows where i’m falling

It’s the time of the month again.
phew it’s before prelims.
thank god.
and hey! guess what?

though the feeling of the heavy gush of flow whenever you stand after a long time sitting is always freaking me out…….

i realised………

at least it contributes by making the sleepy me awake.

cos it freaks me out!

geddit? like.. oh shit. ops. oh man. *with the heavy flow flooding your entire being with it’s high volume, large wetted perimeter, smooth gradient, lil (i wouldn’t say no..) vegetation intercepting, no permeable rocks………………..*

had oral. and it. sucked.

serious okay. i know it myself.

sigh. wasted just another opportunity.

prelims are nearing. preparation in the process.

but it’s s.l.o.w.

Skip a beat and move with my body…yeah, slow

SLOW.

hahas. chemmy’s fun larhs. actually. and mrs chan is like. oh! cute. hahas.

"hey young lady"

"Don’t ever let me catch you putting.. coz the bonding is not…"

and, not forgetting. my tuitionmates. hahas. very kind. helpful and dilligent. They were willing to change the schedule to accomodate me AND tried to cover up for me..when i missed out a tuition hw. orh.so sweet. hahas.

*maine just signed in*

Didnt have dinner. so ate a lil of this and that. and i’m sick of eating this way. mom! pls cook! i know it’s like not.. your forte. but. pls! i dont really bother and will not complain abt how it taste anymore(i hope)…

Venice is a heavy chap and i wonder if i made a wrong choice… and sometimes, when im studying it. i go, "eh. y am i preparing for hist instead of ss??"

********************************************************************************************************************

I know i will take the pragmatic step. it may be ‘wrong’. but it benefits me. so i will.

sasha was irritating enuff to peep at what i was doing. jiejie. i need no comments from u for this. thanks.

oh, i wonder if the hammster’s dead.

hahas.

o!

funny.

what joy can a small, puny, harmless creature who attemps all day long shriek-ing and trying to bite no-one else but me bring?

loads.

it had its adventurous escape through the grills of the cage and ended up behind the closet in the den. what was heartwarming was that the juniors, with all their might, patience and love, carried out their mission on saving it for it could have possibly been crushed to death. or suffocate.too.

claudia - being the tall one.. held onto the closet.
sonia - at one end.
eunice - opp end

others who helped whom i cant really remember.

"Door’s lock! The hamster has escaped! Think it’s behind the closet! We are finding it!"

*chuckles*

to my dearest juniors, rock on huh! whoots!

my neighbour

  They are eccentric to the extent, scary. To add on my fear of them, i see them only in the night for they seldom leave the house during broad daylight. Sometimes when they ‘appear’ in the night, they leave their house and return late. At other times, they would just open their metal gate of which some parts of the green-coloured paint on it have already started to peel off and to reveal the rusty metal beneath it. Leaving the wooden door ajar, the old couple would rest on their rocking chairs, as if awaiting for the arrival of another person…

*chuckles*

yea.

i’m sorry.

i’m apologising before i start to b*tch abt u.

so here i go …

*breathesdeeeeeply*

omg. for goodness sake. can u pluhlease shut your freaking blardy big mouth up. cos u r distracting me so much when i’m working. ESP when u are gossiping abt my. My. i repeat. MY friend. wth. wad abt her looks huh? think yours is like .. nice? i puke ah. your looks su*ks. for your info. yeah. prolly u dontch noe lah. anyway, i honestly think her looks are like. god. a million times better than yours? prolly more than a million. and HELLo. can u pls be more sensitive to pple who did not perform to their expectations? if they want to keep it to themselves. can u pls. shut up and stop asking?!! it’s like u lah. u oso dun want to say right? den ask pple only. and HELLo. u still ended up blurted that u are gonna retake. loser. when someone asked earlier if u are retaking. u shrugged. and one impt point. GOD. JUST SHUT UR STINKO MOUTH UP. cos I REALLY WANT TO CONCENTRATE. or. for everyone’s sake, phuck off.

oh!

*faintsfrantically*

okays. thanks.and sorry. having to put up w my crudness. i’m usually. not like that.

=)

*arrangeshair*

*breathesdeeply*

An anger rose in me, choking me at her audcity to backstab my bestessst friend, but i took a deep breath and tried to cool down.
i continued with the math question left half-way done.

"yak, yak, yak.." her ever so irritating voice disrupted my thoughts.

I gnashed my teeth each time she "yak".

"Stop it!" i knew i needed a little more of anger management.

My scream seemed to reverbrate around the room. Everyone stopped with their activities and gasped. Sara stared back at me, tears welling in her eyes.

Her lips began to tremble, " What.. what?" a tear sprang up from nowhere before she could even continue and she started crying like a big baby.

i stomped out of the room and slammed the wooden door, scowling furiously.

"God damn her" I told to myself.

"Serves her right!" i sneered evily inside.

i heard footsteps and as i turned back to check, Mr Ng, our math teacher walked up towards me. I knew i was getting "it". I waited for the inevitable dressing down. I was prepared to face the music.

i m reporting for a case of cheating.

VICTIM: me.

CHEATER: the sch!!

REMARKS: was cheated to study for a mock exam and it turned out to be.. "cancelled" but was later clarified to be postponed.

arh. wadeva. it’s preparation for prelims too.

omg. had fun today in class. when NO ONE was willing to listen to me. yea. sounds stupid. hahas. during eng we had group work.. den!! zak was like. [hahas mei you ren ting ni zai jiang hua] nat was like [you were talking?] omg. omg. hahas

got back eng oral. quite surprise. but satisfied too. afterall that’s the only area i can score.

topic for oral was. [your ambition] kinda abt this.

thank god for nat. trix. and zak. for always listening to my ambition. [tho they everytime try to ignore me...]

P.A.B.

back pple rocks!

okays. was thinking what to get for pb juniors for farewell tml. gotta be cheap. there’s like 66-27 of them!! hahas. Thought of something, but aint cheap i would say.

but it’s kinda fun.

=)

yesterday, was totally shit.

drank spoilt milk.

sleepy during amaths.

intensive a maths.

to make things worst, didnt bring my specs!

oh!

den intensive PREPARATIOn for chem.

dozed off here and there.

had a stress dinner.

dropped calculator on my toe.

ouch.

OUCH!

memorising while on the way to mrs chan’s house.

intensive chem.

headache on the way back.

BOOM.BOOM.BOOM.Boom. - sounds of my head.

slept all the way now….. woke up at 4 ..

god blesses me w the hist exam later.. didnt not study ANYTHING except.. end of war.

hur.hur.

out of ten. studied one.

smart ass. - i hope.

k. gotta go prepara for school.

hope the jinx me is over.

huh.

bad day.till now

think i need more tuition.

cant even count.

10-1 is three hours. aint 4?!! hello.

was darn sleepy in a maths tuition.

aftertht. headed to pp.

to scout for some gifts.

saw miss yahty(sp??!!) or wadeva, madam hassan.

so cute neh. i meant she.

wanted to just say hi. but. the prefect thingy in me just made me greeted her the most formal way.

"Good morning.. eh.. ops. sorry. good afternoon.. madam.."

she walked past me when i was greeting half way.

k. den saw the gifts i wanted.

then, i invested the remaining allowance i have for this pathetic week on..

POSTS HONEY ROASTED BUNCH W ALMONDs..

didnt buy milk. coz had it at home.

yea.

so when i wanted to eat.. poured the milk. and it tasted. SOUR. loser.

k. gotta do chem papers.

bye loser!

bleah.

i knew a maths tuition was frm 10 to 1.

then, i thought for the second time.

10 to 1??

isnt that like 4 hours??

i tot 3 onli?!!

so i tot maybe..

it starts at 11..

msged 3 of my frens

only i replied.

10.

starts at 10!!!

omg..

hahas. haven do hw yet.. ggggggg.. going

then,

i ‘ve got chem tuition later.. *faints*

JIA YOU MEMEMEMME!!